Baby Update

It has been a while since I posted. I was going to update the blog as soon as we found out if this baby is a boy or a girl...and then I couldn't get my phone to cooperate with the video of Jackson making our announcement. We have now known for almost 2 1/2 months. For anyone who reads this who didn't see, Here is Jackson's big announcement.

We are so excited for Baby Sister to join our family. Only 9 1/2 more weeks to go until she is here! It is crazy how fast the time has gone. It feels like we waited forever for the news that another baby was on it's way to our family, but this pregnancy has flown by. For the most part I feel pretty good, other than being exhausted because I cannot for the life of me get comfortable to sleep at night. I've also dealt with sciatic pain with this pregnancy that I didn't have with Jackson. I regularly ask myself how I made it the whole 9 months working 8-10 hours a day with him. I sleep in 2-3 hours later than I ever could, plus usually take a nap, or at least lay down to rest. 

Baby Sister is healthy. For a while my doctor was worried about her head because it looked funny on the ultrasounds, so he sent me to a high risk doctor, but at my appointment with him last week, everything looked completely normal. It was kind of angled at the temples, but as of last week it was mostly rounded out as it should be. He thinks it's probably just because she's breech, and has been the whole time. That has made it so her head hasn't been properly molded by my pelvis as a baby with who is head-down would be. We are crossing our fingers that in the next 9 weeks she flips over so we don't have to have a C-section. 

She is very active, which I love...most of the time. We have fun watching my belly change shape as she rolls around. She doesn't like her bubble being invaded. Whenever Jackson sits on my lap she kicks him to try to get him to move, and she always moves out of the way of the ultrasound and heart rate dopplers. Makes things a little tricky for the doctors. She also always hides her face during ultrasounds. At my last one she hid her face completely behind a hand and a foot. Out of all the ultrasounds I've had (five to this point), we only have one or two clear pictures of her face because she's always hiding it. We can't wait to see that beautiful little face when she is born.

As for getting things ready for her here, we have the crib set up in her room, but I still need to finish cleaning it out because we were using it as our catch-all/ storage room for the last 15 months. There's things I want to do in her room to decorate it, but we do have to decide on a name first for some of it. I also need to reorganize our room for the bassinet. And I have a couple sewing projects to do for her too.

Jackson is so cute, kissing my belly and saying "I love you, Baby 'ister" nightly as we're putting him to bed. We'll see if that love continues when Baby Sister actually gets here. Lol. He is still very much a momma's boy and I have to be the one to rock him to sleep at night. The rocking chair will soon be moved into Baby Sister's room because it will be more useful there than in Jackson's room. Probably this weekend when we put up our Christmas decorations because we have to take one of our arm chairs upstairs to fit the tree in, so we'll stash that in Jackson's room to try to start getting him used to not cuddle-rocking every night. Don't get me wrong, I love cuddling with my little boy, and I'll try to have their bedtimes different so I can still cuddle him as often as possible, but Baby Sister will probably rock his world regardless. 

Answered Prayers

The update I posted last month may not have been a complete update on our family last month when I updated our blog. It has been an emotional almost 18 months with our miscarriage and then trying to get all of my hormones regulated as I was dealing with the depression and trying to get pregnant again. We have spent a lot of time on our knees, trying to make sense of what happened and why, but also asking for the opportunity to expand our family.

In my last post, I said I was doing much better. Really, I am. Mentally and emotionally I haven't been better in a long time. And physically I am starting to feel better too.  You see, we've been keeping a little secret for the past three months. We found out in May, after several months of tears and struggles, that I am pregnant, now 16 1/2 weeks along, due January 20, 2017.

The week we found out, we were working at getting our garden ready to plant. We had to dig out a lot of grass to do so. I did a lot of the work during the day while Jeff was at work. One day I was out working and I just felt off. I wondered if I was getting sick. My cycle wasn't late yet, so it was a completely logical thought. I had no reason to believe I was pregnant. But I had the nagging thought, "But what if I am?" The next morning, I was still feeling a little off and still had that thought, so I pulled a pregnancy test out of my drawer completely believing that there was no way it would be positive, even if by some miracle I was pregnant because I was still early. So I went about getting ready for the day while I waited. When I looked back down at the test, I was shocked. There was a faint line! Very faint, but there. I didn't believe it. I pulled out a different brand of test...it was also positive. And then, because I still didn't believe it, I pulled out a third brand of test (yes, I was one of THOSE. It probably has something to do with trying for so long.) That third test was also positive. I couldn't deny it after that. I was so happy, and couldn't wait for Jeff to get home. I wanted to tell him so bad, but that just isn't the kind of news you share over text. I was so grateful, and so excited.

But, I was also scared. I knew what could happen. I prayed so hard that day that everything would be okay with this baby and pregnancy. I was teaching piano lessons when Jeff got home. He went upstairs to change and turned on the TV. When I finished, I went upstairs and sat down next to him on the bed. I grabbed his hand, and whispered (because that's all the voice I could get out) as I put his hand on my tummy that I was pregnant. He was also excited to find out, though just as scared as I was. I had him give me a blessing, and I did feel that everything would go okay.

My morning sickness started the last week of May. I had never been so grateful to be sick in my life.  never got to that point with the baby we lost. I wasn't looking forward to months of being sick, but knew that it was a blessing and helped me to breathe a little easier. I was able to mostly control it, as long as I stayed laying down. I had two miserable days of work, but two days were all that I had left of the school year when it started, so I was grateful for that. With Jackson, I was sick the entire school year.

I hadn't been nervous, at all, until I went to my first doctor's appointment. Where it was at the doctor I found out about our miscarriage, I really started freaking out that morning. I made Jeff take the day off work to go with me...because I was NOT going to be alone again. But, we were able to see a little heart beating in the ultrasound. I was so relieved, knowing that we had made it past that crucial point. I've had two appointments since that first one, and have been able to hear a good, strong heartbeat at each of them. Next month, we will find out if Jackson will get a little brother or sister in January.

I still worry on a daily basis, and pray for the health of this baby and myself. But I am so grateful. I'm grateful for the weeks of sickness I had. I'm grateful that now I'm functioning like a normal human being again, if with a bit less energy. Lol. I'm grateful that Jackson has been so good and is perfectly content to just play while I lay on the couch to rest, or even nap on occasion. I'm grateful that I have a good husband who never once complained (out loud anyway!) when he left for work in the morning with a messy kitchen/ house and came home do an even messier one, and just cleaned it up for me. My worry is lessening now, as I am starting to feel little flutters of movement. I wasn't wanting to let myself believe that's what it was until after I went to the doctor this week and heard the heart again.

I know that Heavenly Father always hears and answers prayers. It isn't always in our desired time frame, but He does when it is right for us. I am grateful that I am able to be a Mommy, and that we will be able to bring home another precious blessing in just a few more months.

Our Updates

I have been MIA here on the blog for almost 8 months. I have been dealing with some personal issues. After we lost our baby last year, I sunk into depression. It took me months to admit it. Actually, it took a friend lovingly telling me to get help before I did. Admitting that I needed help was really hard, but I am so grateful every single day to my friend for encouraging me to go and ask for help. I am doing so much better. I can function as a wife and a mom again. I'm sleeping at night, and I can find joy in life. Things in my life still aren't perfect, but I can see the good instead of focusing just on the bad like I had for so long.

In April, Jeff was offered a job at NRF...a job we have been praying for him to get for months. This job will allow me to be a full-time stay at home mom. There is an average 6-9 month waiting period for him to get a security clearance (since he'll be working for the Federal Government) before he'll be able to start. We are hoping that he will be able to start by the end of the year, but we'll see. We know it's coming, and that in and of itself is a blessing. Right now we are waiting for his background check to come through before we can start the clearance paperwork, but he heard today that he should be able to start that next week. That starts and things will really be rolling. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Jackson just turned 3. He is a clown, and he knows it. He is always making us laugh. He loves playing with cars and trains, and he loves to be outside. That little boy brings us so much joy. He talks our ears off. We still can't understand a lot of what he says, but it is getting easier each day. One of my favorite things he says is "Mommy, I need some cocowat (chocolate) milk in this cup." We make at least one glass of chocolate milk a day. His favorite things to eat are pizza, mac n cheese,  and cereal. He loves going to nursery each week and practically runs down the hall to class after Sacrament Meeting. He still needs to be rocked to sleep each night, which I love. I love it so much. We cuddle rock for a good half hour a night, and during the day for naps...when he takes them.

Life in the Pond house is good. We are happy with where our life is going. We feel so blessed.